Mimimimmimiiii

Mi sorryyy if i hurt you...
Don t be sad..Be a buttefly...
say mi mim mimi
Let's just try to enjoy...As your grandma says..love eachother,kiss eachother...
Don't be sad..Elmo luvss his miii

Heal the World.....

Today, the Cold War has disappeared but thousands of those weapons have not. In a strange turn of history, the threat of global nuclear war has gone down, but the risk of a nuclear attack has gone up. More nations have acquired these weapons. Testing has continued. Black markets trade in nuclear secrets and materials. The technology to build a bomb has spread. Terrorists are determined to buy, build or steal one.

Some argue that the spread of these weapons cannot be checked - that we are destined to live in a world where more nations and more people possess the ultimate tools of destruction. This fatalism is a deadly adversary. For if we believe that the spread of nuclear weapons is inevitable, then we are admitting to ourselves that the use of nuclear weapons is inevitable.

So today, I state clearly and with conviction America's commitment to seek the peace and security of a world without nuclear weapons. This goal will not be reached quickly - perhaps not in my lifetime. It will take patience and persistence. But now we, too, must ignore the voices who tell us that the world cannot change.

Barack Obama, Prague, 5April 2009

Button's Button...

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

City of a Hundred Names...

My Home...

Another Post regarding to this city....

I was born there...I am so proud of it...Nothing will change the fact that i am from Istanbul...

I want my ashes to join the ground also there...

Living in a city is one thing..

Being in a Alive city is another...

My home is not a place, it is people.

Well said by Lois McMaster Bujold...

I want my home to be next to you...You are my happiness...
I hope one day, maybe one day, you'll understand that city..Not for myself, Not for us, Not for our non-born child...But only for your own self growth my Love...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9abMx6TEhAs

More than...me...is you...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kt7L4X4li_k

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words

Just a bit of Appreciation...Late..but not too late...

She cooked me a delicous tomato soup...Thank youuu...
She gave a massage..( finally she started to learn how to do)....Thank youuuu
She danced for me...Thank youuuuu
She kissed all over my body...mmmmm...Thank you...
She prepared me my first picnic...Loved it...Thank you...
She shared a book with me...( even though it is not so intersting, but was sth for me :))) ...Thank youuu....
She loves me....Thank youuu...
She asked for a hug, even i looked like the devil...Thank youuu..
She corrected my english all the time...merciiii...

Thank you God..for giving her to me...

You must become more than just a man in the mind of your opponent

You have learned to bury your guilt with anger.

I will teach you to confront it, and to face the truth.

You know how to fight six men. We can teach you how to engage six hundred.

You know how to disappear. We can teach you to become truly invisible.

Henri Ducard: Anger does not change the fact that your father failed to act.

Bruce Wayne: The man had a gun!

Henri Ducard: Would that stop you?

Bruce Wayne: I've had training!

Henri Ducard: The training is nothing! The will is everything!

My anger outweighs my guilt.

What have i done ?

I don't remember crying so much in life before....

I shouldn't have asked.......

Talk...

The other day you were about to cry my babe...
Because of Love...
Becuase i'd say i'd follow you anywhere no matter what...
I loved you no mater what...year to date...unconditionally...
It's not because of good sex
It's not because of good eating & dining
It's not because of we can speak things that we can not with others
It's not because you are beautiful or smart
It s not because you are very special

It's just because i do love you...it is sth from my inside...

even if you get fat, you get bold, you say dumb things all the time,you become ordinary...
ain't matter...i am gonna love you..always....unconditionally..

But it s up to us...to be happy...Together...
I think i did many sacrifieses for the sake of " us " ....because i believed in you..always....even during the times, when you were not believeing yourself....
The only think out of the logic loop that i have kindly asked you was simple....In many of the fights we had , it was the main topic....
I may be strong...But not that much...You have damaged my love a lot..and the only way that we can re-build things was to be happy all the time...and to be happy, i had to get over with that issue....and just look at to our last couple of weeks...aren't you happier than ever we were ? and why ? thanks to you...I was thinking very little about "that"..Only thanks to you...Yet, because of you...you made me........................

You teased me one more time today ; thank you for the guideliness...
That hurt more than everything...
How i wish...to say nth about any guideline...that you'd done by yourself...that i'd shut the f**k up...How i wish...
I could have just turn my back too...But still, i believe in you...that s why i ve told you those things which you percieved as guidelines.....
You can talk to me...you can make explanations....maybe we agree or we do not agree..but we'll find a common way...because we love eachother...for the sake of you, i am ready to change my path....and for the sake of us, you can find a common way...just talk to me...and maybe i am wrong...and i ll apologize from you...

But Do not tease me...
Do not hang up the phone on my face...
Do not run away from talking...
Just talk...explain me why..Help me understand...

Whatever happens ;
and i am gonna love you unconditionally...as long as you do respect me....

Being asked to verbalize my feelings....Don't push for it...

Otherwise we lose the most special thing we have and we become to be normal, banal , ordinary,boring couple....

And do not worry...i will give you, i will continue giving you the best words that you deserve...In the best times when they make sense...

Small Details....

Today she said to me ;

Alina Rutkowska/P... I am sooooo in love with youuuuuuuuu

It was the single moment of my life.....

Forgiveness...

Forgive me...

For all the phones that i haven't made.

For all the stories that i haven't told...

For all the moments that i haven't visited you...

For all the days, that i have spent w/o telling nothing from myself..

For being a terrible grandson..Forgive me

and Happy Birthday...

Something ( Someone ) to Believe in...

Life

Life is very strange my friend.....
Like a human..A female one maybe...Sometimes she's so Lovable...Sometimes she's such a bich...Sometimes she betrays you...sometimes she's the most trustable person ever...
You dream about a girl...That's why we call " her " as the girl of my dreams...And most of the time, what you think in your head, becomes true..and you meet with this girl...eventually..maybe not in this life format, but one day, you do meet her..

Life is like that too...What you think comes true....it just happens...But i still strongly believe in external factors, that may effect things..I am not saying those factors do change things, but they may effect. Then it s totally up to you, how you can cope with those...Those external factors may also open new opportunites...positive or negative ones...You'd never know...Because it's just life...Totally unpredictable...Like a girl...

The thing is, i am tired my friend...i used to battle, cope with everything...But it's just too much....yes, i want to happy...and that's what it is in my head..all the time...i work for it..i try for it....and everytime i feel things are on track, bammm, she betrays me again...
My family always supported me...till the end....and i know they gonna continue supporting me..till the end...I have a lot of friends...but just a few of them, i can trust..till the end...and all those years, i was missing something..someone...a female person in my female life...For the very first time, i do believe there is this person...Beautiful, Smart , Happy and understands me..Listens to me...learns things from me...shares with me...loves me...

I always say ; There's nothing certain in life...and nothing is forever( expect diamonds)
I still say ; There's nothing certain in life...and nothing is forever..but in addition to this, again for the very first time i know what i want...i just wanna be with her...It ain't matter where, how, under what circumcitances...

And once again, so called Life, the slut and the love of my presence, i will be in your path...whether you treat me good or bad...i will try to be happy..once again...and i'll find a way...once again...but this time, i am not alone...

Why vs Why Not

You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?"

George Bernard Shaw.

The Proffessor's Daughter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YXVMCHG-Nk

I always believed in some certain things...

Believed in the energy...

Believed in Goodness

Believed in Life..Togetherness...I believed in Happiness...

Then i believed in YOU...i continously believed in you, no matter what happened...

When i was planing to tell you, i started to feel that i can be with you till the end, no matter what, where ever we are...You'd told me that you would never come with me to Turkey...How much it hurt...But...

Still believed in you...

For the first time in my life, i can tell that i feel in such a way that i belong to someone....

We had hard times..Maybe we'll have even harder times..But i strongly started believing as long as we have eachother, we gonna get through all the obstacles...

Change...is good...

And i think...some other things gonna change too....

Soon...

Not just my job....Also my status....Our's....

AND DO NOT QUESTION MY UNDERSTANDING OF ROMANTISM...

You know, what i am capable of....

You gonna have that....the circle thing...in the very best moment...

As your Father says ; IN

The ONE..

She can make me laugh like that...

And today ;

She proved that she'll be with me...She'll support me..She'll love me whatever happens...

I have no more questions...

She is the ONE...

And i wanna go with her,Only with her, till the end...

My Home, My job, My Heart, My Soul...IS NEXT TO YOU...

She's opened the window.....

I was in a dark room...Before you my love...

I was living in my lonely world..which i called, my kingdom...I thougth i was happy there...Before you my beauty...

I had my strong defence walls protecting my heart...from getting hurt..Before you my young woman..

I didn't wanna open my windows to anybody...Before you my "Smile"..

Weird = Special

It is weird....
One Polish, coming from a Catholic family...
One Turkish, coming from a totally different culture...
Totally two different aspects, two different expectations from life....
And Different experiences....
They both see the actual life from a different point of view...Sometimes they agree, Sometimes not..
They talk..They discuss..They fight....They cry...They make love...They create "the moment"...They are happy..sometimes unhappy...
These are normal things like the normal people do....
What enables them special is they understand their "weird characters" and accept and respect those sides of themselves....
That is why ; She is gonna be the one for him ; That is why He is gonna be the one for her...
That is why, despite everything they have been through , they are still together ...

All they need is , to build up real togetherness on top of this "Special" emotions that make them special, where in the meanwhile, it's seen as "weird" from other people...

They are just too very special weird souls, that love eachother....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWuOh7a6ANQ

The Promise of a Witch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awxnfagxdxQ

I hear your voice

I touch your hair

I see the traces

Everywhere

This house of ours

We used to share

My dream has turned

To nightmare

I sleep no more

I dream no more
There's nothing here

To wake up for

I talk no more

I sing no more

Don't function like

I did before

Because she doesn't live here anymore

She hardly calls at all

Now when she's gone I find myself lost

Staring at the wall

I drink again

I smoke again

There's no one here

To call my friend

I swear again

I'm mad again

So troubled since

I don't know when

Because she doesn't live here anymore

She hardly calls at all

Now when she's gone I find myself lost

Staring at the wall

She doesn't live here anymore

She hardly calls at all

Since she's been gone there's nobody here

To catch me when I fall

Sending out an S.O.S

She's not "there" anymore.........

Love is a SHIELD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVhPUpG82sU

Love is a shield,

To hide behind,

Love is a field

To grow inside,

And when I sometimes close my eyes

My mind starts spinning round.

Love is a babyIn a mother's arms,

Love is your breath

Which makes me warm,

And when I sometimes close my eyes,
My mind starts spinning round.

There is a feeling

That flows through me,

When you are near

You make it real

And we could live for this ideal.
And all the pictures we run through,
Seem to be perfect,
Seem to be true.

But nothing is quite forever,

Especially staying together.

I don't care now

What comes along,

What counts is us,

No matter what will be,

Just this naivety.

The changing words we're taking in,

Seem to be perfect,

Seem to win.

But nothing is quite forever,

Especially staying together

The roots of us is...

Despite everything ;
It seems "Pure innocent Love" is about to win....

Loving you...

What i am going through with you in this last period is just ;
More than words.....

Back to....

Who i am...

Goodbye the little Kid inside Me...

My Limits of Patience

I really do not know what to do.....

I am really tired and sick of seeing,hearing,feeling,touching things regarding to her Past.

and i am getting angry...

Patience...just Patience...More Patience...

IN - OUT says a wise man

IN or (and) OUT
I really appreciate your dad. I see a very very Smart guy from what you have told me

IN
Do you really want me IN ? You say so, but your actions do not match with what you say.
OUT
Your past is past.That's why we call it past. You have to be OUT from there. If you can not , then do not try to take me IN. There is no room available for every mindset there.
IN
You want to create a Happy World around you. Have you ever thought about the fact that, when you are doing that , you are hurting me , the most powerful thing in this world that can make you happier than any other living organism ?
OUT
Contacting with "them" , leaving the door open to the others is putting me OUT of the loop. Do not tell me, you are not aware of it.
IN
I will be IN your life,as long as you mean it not just with your heart, but also with your actions.
OUT
I will be OUT of one's life that does not respect me.
IN
You are inside my mind all the time, every second, every day, every moment.
OUT
I was out of your mind, when you have done all of those actions
IN & OUT
Take a decision. If you want to keep me IN or OUT.



Just one remark ; You know how i always tell you that Life itself, is not written in the books..or in your "sources"..Life is something totally different, strange but also very beautiful. It just does not exist in the books. You expreince it, then you combine your experince with the books and then you create your own Reality.
You wanted to create your owns' w/o expreincing...
You wanted to learn everything in a moment.
But i have told you ; learning is a process. It is a process if you commit yourself and focus on it. You haven't. You have choosen to believe what was written in the books and what was right for you all the time.
There's no certain right or wrong in this world. BUT there is togetherness.When it comes to that , you think before acting how that will effect your partner.Then you understand if it is good ( not right not wrong ) for the both of you.
Meditation, inner piece, creating your own realty...They are the masterpieces of individualism. And that brings selfish actions together. Those are great tools, if you have patience. They will help you develop a lot, if you wanna learn and impelment to your life, not build up your life according to those tools. They just help you how to find the happiniess ; they do not make you Happy by themselves. And your happiniess, is INside you, not OUTside.
You have to digest everything that you are learining, then once you are ready, once you have learnt sth truly, you turn the page to learn new things.

Why do we fall, ? So that we might learn to pick ourselves up.

You just wanna start running once you are in the ground, w/o learning how to pcik up yourself in a proper way.

I've missed it......

That's the meaning of Life....

This photo is telling so many things....

Source; Special thanks to my brother for this greatest picture taken ever...

Just a few lines about "HER"

And i have just a few remarks about her, which i have to mention ;
I admire ;
How she is disciplined
How smart she is
How happy she is
How Lovable
How determined when she wants sth
How intelligent
How full of "family love"
How georgeus the way she looks
How beautiful the way she is

Are you really Alone?

She said she felt "alone" last nite....

Despite to everything i'd done...Every moment i was there...I felt really bad...

I just wanna make her...

Happy...

I am sorry....

My Gift for you today

Most of your time, you are busy with your own religion ; Wicca

And you know mine ; Shamanisim...

It is a gift to both of us that we are both Pagans...

Everyday, you are getting a little piece from me...But still, It is a question mark to you, who i am in realty

Animals are sacred creatures for Shamans. Actually they do speak to them.

And I'd explained you that Wolfs are sacred animals for Turks.

So, another piece from myself to you ;

A wolf in Shamanism represents ;

Loyalty, success, perseverance, stability and thought.Wolves are also regarded as path finders and teachers.Wolf is represented by the constellation Sirius, the Dog.In the Zuni tradition the Wolf symbolizes the direction East.

Wolf's Wisdom Includes:
Facing the end of one's cycle with dignity and courage
Death and rebirth
Spirit teaching
Guidance in dreams and meditations
Instinct linked with intelligence
Social and familial values
Outwitting enemies
Ability to pass unseen
Steadfastness
Skill in protection of self and family
Taking advantage of change

Anythin' familiar?

So actually, the beautiful roses that are waiting in front of your door right now aren't the real gift of today...These lines about me...are the real present

The Sweetest thing

My love she throws me like a rubber ball
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
She won't catch me or break my fall
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Baby’s got blue skies up ahead
But in this I'm a rain cloud
You know she wants a dry kind of love
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
I'm losing you
I'm losing you
Ain't love the sweetest thing
I wanted to run but she made me crawl
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Eternal fire, she turned me to straw
Oh oh, the sweetest thing
I know I got black eyes
But they burn so brightly for her
This is a blind kind of love
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1wfv3lJs5qE

Gaia's Song

“Flames of passion and seeds of romance grow; I open my heart to love. Now the one who seeks me shall come.”