Tuesday, March 24, 2009

City of a Hundred Names...



My Home...
Another Post regarding to this city....
I was born there...I am so proud of it...Nothing will change the fact that i am from Istanbul...
I want my ashes to join the ground also there...
Living in a city is one thing..
Being in a Alive city is another...

My home is not a place, it is people.
Well said by Lois McMaster Bujold...
I want my home to be next to you...You are my happiness...
I hope one day, maybe one day, you'll understand that city..Not for myself, Not for us, Not for our non-born child...But only for your own self growth my Love...

Monday, March 23, 2009

More than...me...is you...



Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words

Just a bit of Appreciation...Late..but not too late...

She cooked me a delicous tomato soup...Thank youuu...
She gave a massage..( finally she started to learn how to do)....Thank youuuu
She danced for me...Thank youuuuu
She kissed all over my body...mmmmm...Thank you...
She prepared me my first picnic...Loved it...Thank you...
She shared a book with me...( even though it is not so intersting, but was sth for me :))) ...Thank youuu....
She loves me....Thank youuu...
She asked for a hug, even i looked like the devil...Thank youuu..
She corrected my english all the time...merciiii...

Thank you God..for giving her to me...

Friday, March 20, 2009

You must become more than just a man in the mind of your opponent


You have learned to bury your guilt with anger.
I will teach you to confront it, and to face the truth.
You know how to fight six men. We can teach you how to engage six hundred.
You know how to disappear. We can teach you to become truly invisible.

Henri Ducard: Anger does not change the fact that your father failed to act.
Bruce Wayne: The man had a gun!
Henri Ducard: Would that stop you?
Bruce Wayne: I've had training!
Henri Ducard: The training is nothing! The will is everything!

My anger outweighs my guilt.

What have i done ?

I don't remember crying so much in life before....

I shouldn't have asked.......

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Talk...


The other day you were about to cry my babe...
Because of Love...
Becuase i'd say i'd follow you anywhere no matter what...
I loved you no mater what...year to date...unconditionally...
It's not because of good sex
It's not because of good eating & dining
It's not because of we can speak things that we can not with others
It's not because you are beautiful or smart
It s not because you are very special

It's just because i do love you...it is sth from my inside...

even if you get fat, you get bold, you say dumb things all the time,you become ordinary...
ain't matter...i am gonna love you..always....unconditionally..

But it s up to us...to be happy...Together...
I think i did many sacrifieses for the sake of " us " ....because i believed in you..always....even during the times, when you were not believeing yourself....
The only think out of the logic loop that i have kindly asked you was simple....In many of the fights we had , it was the main topic....
I may be strong...But not that much...You have damaged my love a lot..and the only way that we can re-build things was to be happy all the time...and to be happy, i had to get over with that issue....and just look at to our last couple of weeks...aren't you happier than ever we were ? and why ? thanks to you...I was thinking very little about "that"..Only thanks to you...Yet, because of you...you made me........................

You teased me one more time today ; thank you for the guideliness...
That hurt more than everything...
How i wish...to say nth about any guideline...that you'd done by yourself...that i'd shut the f**k up...How i wish...
I could have just turn my back too...But still, i believe in you...that s why i ve told you those things which you percieved as guidelines.....
You can talk to me...you can make explanations....maybe we agree or we do not agree..but we'll find a common way...because we love eachother...for the sake of you, i am ready to change my path....and for the sake of us, you can find a common way...just talk to me...and maybe i am wrong...and i ll apologize from you...

But Do not tease me...
Do not hang up the phone on my face...
Do not run away from talking...
Just talk...explain me why..Help me understand...

Whatever happens ;
and i am gonna love you unconditionally...as long as you do respect me....

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Being asked to verbalize my feelings....Don't push for it...

Otherwise we lose the most special thing we have and we become to be normal, banal , ordinary,boring couple....
And do not worry...i will give you, i will continue giving you the best words that you deserve...In the best times when they make sense...

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Small Details....

Today she said to me ;

Alina Rutkowska/P... I am sooooo in love with youuuuuuuuu

It was the single moment of my life.....

Monday, March 2, 2009

Forgiveness...

Forgive me...
For all the phones that i haven't made.
For all the stories that i haven't told...
For all the moments that i haven't visited you...
For all the days, that i have spent w/o telling nothing from myself..
For being a terrible grandson..Forgive me
and Happy Birthday...

Something ( Someone ) to Believe in...